An Apology & Peace Offering

Thank you all for your supportive comments…you are wonderful.

I know that what was said wasn’t said to hurt me…but, it did…very bad.  I know that it’s my own insecurities…but the subject happens to be one that I’ve been dealing with for a very long time and still struggle with.  I know that I’m the only one who can change that within me, but I guess that it doesn’t help when someone that you adore points it out to you…especially knowing how you feel about it.

Anyway, an apology was offered and accepted along with these.

While…the roses are gorgeous and the apology was sincere, I still am having a difficult time with what was said.  Something that I’m dealing with and will eventually get over…but for now it bothers me still.

Other Issues…

Letting Go…

I’m sure that this is all bothering me so much because of the timing…considering the anniversary of my closest friend’s death is coming up on Monday…and it was 2 years ago yesterday that I talked to him for the last time.

I need closure on this very badly…and I’m aware of that.  Because he lived in Canada…I was unable to attend his memorial service, so I didn’t get the closure that I need.

I miss him so very much and I wish that he’d never gone on that trip that week…but he was stubborn and always had to do the right thing…and no matter how much I told him that I had a bad feeling about it all and pleaded with him not to go…he did…and I lost him a couple days later.

Too young…only 20 at the time, his whole life ahead of him.  It kills me inside knowing that I have four beautiful children and the love of my life…and he’d just found his soulmate for only a brief time before he died.  Atleast he had a chance to experience that much…but yet he died before ever saying his vows…or seeing his first child born. Life is certainly not fair.

The only peace I find is that I know that he can hear me…and I know that he can see my children grow.  I know that he’s here with me…and I know that I will see him again someday.

A Phone Call…

Jason just called from work…it’s snowing outside.  The first real snowfall this year.  This is what it looked like outside my front door right after Jason called about a half an hour ago.

And just a moment ago..

I’d post a better pic…but Xanga isn’t cooperating w/ me.

Not Very How…

Last night something was said to me that hurt me much more than it probably should have.  I think that it was because of who said it more so than what was actually said.

It wasn’t a horrible insult…it was the truth…but I didn’t expect it to be pointed out to me by someone that I love so much.  It’s not that I’m not totally aware of this flaw…how could I not be…but it was the fact that this person was the one who brought it to my attention.

I don’t know what else to say about it except that it hurt…it still hurts.

A Bit of…

For a Change

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a HUGE hockey fan…but I also know that it’s not the most popular sport…like football is, at least not in most parts of the country.  However, growing up in Michigan…there isn’t much to do in the winter unless you are totally into cross-country skiing, snow-shoeing, sledding…or HOCKEY.  Anyone who has grown up in Michigan with the legacy of the Red Wings is a hockey fan from birth.  It’s in my blood.

I recently read an article that was talking about the Heritage Classic that’s going to be played at Edmonton’s Commonwealth Stadium this Saturday.  It’s a big deal because the players will actually be playing (a real game) on an outside ice arena…something that hasn’t been done in the 86 years that the NHL has been around.

The players are all looking forward to playing out on open ice…considering most of them haven’t done it since they were kids.  It’d be cool to watch all of these millionaires playing a real game outside for a change…the way hockey was meant to be played.

I know…spoken like a true Michigander eh?  But if you asked most of the players…I bet that they’d agree with me.

Anyway…I just had to share that bit of hockey with you…mainly because it’s an historic event and I didn’t want to go without recognizing the significance of it all.

Have a great day everyone!!!

Thanks…

for being so supportive and for all of your kind words…I needed that yesterday…BAD!

My boss, Jerry, isn’t always that way…usually we get along fine…but he’s also not usually in the office.  I guess that maybe I’m having a spell of overload syndrome along with a bit of PMS.  

Anyway…I just found out that the head safety suits from our parent company are going to be at our office on the 17th of December!  They will be inspecting how we keep our O.S.H.A. & D.O.T. records (more or less…how I keep our records).  They will also be looking at the safety software that we use.  We are the only one of the subsidiaries that doesn’t use the “main software database” as our main database.  I still think that they should switch over to what we have…it’s SO much better and more user friendly. 

In the past, any time that one of the safety people from the parent company has visited…they drool over how organized our filing is and well our records are kept.  Kudos for me…but it doesn’t reflect on my paycheck…unfortunately.

My company is in the process however, of building me a new desk and office.  I feel that it’s deserving considering that I’ve been here for six years and have busted my arse for them.  The least they can do is build me $3000 office…right?

I’m just hoping that I have things all moved over to the new office and all of my files switched over to the new filing system by the time the suits arrive…if not, I don’t think it will make the impression that we’re hoping for.  I feel some weekend work hours coming on.

Enough on that…

Jason has been working a LOT lately…but yesterday he found out that his schedule will be changing for the remainder of the Holiday season.  He will be working a set schedule of Monday thru Friday 11am – 7pm w/ the weekends off.  He is very happy about this…and I am as well considering I will have him home on the weekends.  I think that his happiness derived from the fact that he won’t have to deal with all of the weekend holiday shoppers!!  I can’t say I blame him there.

Other than that…I have to go to my sons’ parent/teacher conferences tonight…and my ex-husband has decided that he will attend as well.  He doesn’t normally attend these…and to be honest, the kids teachers have never met him…so I guess that I’ll be doing some introducing eh?

Well, that’s it for me…I’m off like a prom dress!!  Have a great day!

Update…

Ex-husband won’t be able to make it to conferences…he’s ummmm…not feeling well.  In his defense…he did sound awful…lost his voice.

Is it SO Wrong…

to want to kill your boss first thing in the morning??? 

I tell ya…things have been hectic enough around here lately, but I wanted to just shoot him this morning and I’ve only been here 30 MINUTES!!!

See…I work in the safety department for an electrical contractor…we build all of those big power lines and such that you see.  Well, my boss does the training for the company and then sends me lists of courses and people who’ve had the training for every class he teaches.  These things are recorded in a safety software program that we have…but our parent company doesn’t have the same software…so it has to be converted into their codes and inputted into their software as well.  A waste of time eh?  I think so.  Anyway…normally someone from the parent company would do this…but they cut back on positions last year and no one ever inputted the records.  So now they haven’t had any info put into the database for our company for almost 2 years. 

Can you guess who they want to do this?  Yup…as if I have time to do that and do my boss’ job as well as my own while he’s out gallavanting around the countryside doing training.  I don’t have the time and I don’t know the software.  In fact…we only have one computer in our office that even has the software on it…so in order to even input this info. I’d have to be in another office…which is not a good idea considering the amount of calls that I deal with a day.  *sigh*

Well…my boss was telling someone this morning that he thinks that it would only take a couple of weeks to input the info from the last 2 years (he’s on crack).  Umm…I don’t THINK so you moran!  It’ll take at least a couple months…but he has NO clue…he’s never even touched the database software that it needs to be inputted into!!  And yet he’s talking as if he has a clue?  I HATE that!!!!

I’m just one of those people that if I have NO idea as to what I’m talking about…I just keep my big mouth shut.  But NOOOOOOOOOO…he has to run off at the mouth as if he’s an expert on the subject!

Sorry guys…but this just erks me beyond belief!!

He says to me, “so why are you getting so defensive?  If I stated the wrong time…so what?”   So what?? Oh…well, I’m the one that has to deal with this and he tells the controller that he only thinks that it will take a couple of weeks to get it done…well, then I won’t be getting any help in completing it.  They will expect me to do that as well as everything else!! 

Can you say overload?

I refuse to be dumped on…and I’ll quit before I will allow them to overload me again.  They’ve done this to me too many times in the past.

A Few Changes…umm…Again

Yup…I’ve changed things around here yet again.  I guess I am wanting a cleaner…more structured look.

Anyway…I hope that you are all doing well.  I know that I haven’t been visiting as much as I’d like to as of late…but, you know how that goes, life gets in the way of Xanga at times.

Some of you have inquired as to how I’ve been feeling…well, I’m feeling quite well thank you.   I seem to be pretty much all healed from my surgery and I’m not in any pain…(that still is strange to hear myself say…strange, but good).

Jason and I have been busy trying to get things a bit more organized around the house…so I’ve been going through old clothes and getting rid of a few things.  I have way too many items that I just never wear…so, I figure that someone else would get much better use of them.

So is everyone ready for Thanksgiving?  I’m a bit excited because I’ll have all of the children home this year and I’ll feel well enough to be able to help out with the cooking and such.  I know that my Mom wants to cook a feast!

Well…I suppose that I should go and get some work done now.  Things have been hectic around my office as of late…people quitting, new people arriving…jobs changing etc.  So…I guess I should do my part to stay in the game eh?

Have a great day!!

Btw…I just thought that I’d mention that my hubby was actually going to post something (no really…he was)…but Xanga was down at the time (figures eh?)…so it’ll probably be a while before he gets the gumption up to do it again.  Sorry.

Is it Friday yet???

Officially an O’Quinn

Yup…as of two days ago, I’m officially an O’Quinn (according to State and Federal guidelines anyway).  We took the day and went to the Driver’s License bureau and the Social Security Office and then over to the Bank and got me all official like.

Then we went out to lunch…we don’t get to do that very often, so it was very nice.  Jason took me to this little restaurant not far from our house, that I’d never been to before, but he’d heard that they were rated highly for their food.  It was an Italian restaurant called Venice Italian Restuarant…and it’s now my FAVORITE restaurant!

I haven’t had authentic italian food in a long time (well…with the exclusion of my wedding night).  My dad used to take me to a little restaurant called Antonio’s when I was a little girl…the owner was a friend of my dad’s and barely spoke English.  The food there was out of this world…and this restaurant reminded me of Antonio’s so much it was unbelievable! 

They brought us fresh baked breads…not just italian bread, but olive loaf…which I haven’t had since I was a little girl.  Their prices were reasonable as well…so I believe that we will be going back there.  

After a marvelous lunch…we walked across the parking lot to the liquor store (so that Jason could buy a new bottle of margarita mix for my mom to replace the one he got into).  Then we were off to my doctor’s office.  See, I have an ulcer…well, two really if you want get technical.  Anyway, my ulcer has been hurting lately…a lot, and I haven’t been sleeping well because of it.  I also coughed up a bit of blood the other day…so off to the doctor I go.  The good news is that the doctor gave me a stronger medication to help with my ulcer and it’s working quite well…but he did run bloodwork on me to test me for anemia and other things.  He said that he has no idea what would cause me to cough up any blood…so tests were a must.

But just as we got to the doctor’s office, I got a call on my cell phone from my mom stating that the bank called the house and that Jason had left his credit card at the liquor store and that they put a hold on it and that he would have to go pick up the card and bring to the bank in order to get a new one issued.  YIKES!  Umm…okay…just a bit of unecessary drama there.  So he went back the liquor store while I was at the doctor’s…he got the card and went to the bank and explained to them that there was no need to issue a new card considering he knows that he was the last person to use the card….long process of explaining btw.  Anyway, they finally gave him his card back but informed him that it would take 24 hours to activate the card again…but it only took them under 30 minutes to put a hold on it…hmmm.

He picked me up from the doctor’s office and then we headed over to Target (as if he doesn’t spend enough time there…haha) to buy me a baseball glove.  See, he’s been wanting to play catch…but I haven’t been able to, until now.  So we got me a glove of my own (after he laughed at the fact that the only glove that fit me was one of Youth Size).  Then we picked up my oldest from school and went home…packed up the kids and took them to the park!  We played catch…we ran…we played…and I got to swing for the first time in almost 5 years!

It was wonderful!!  I had so much fun…and Jason said how good it was to see me laughing and enjoying myself. 

I must say though…yesterday, my muscles ached….BAD!!  I have aching muscles in places that I’d forgotten that I had muscle!! 

Well…Happy Hump Day!!  That’s all for me for now…back to work I go!

Mario F. Savastano (my Daddy)

U.S. Navy – WWII

Happy Anniversay My Love 

I can’t believe it…but it’s true!  Today is our one month wedding anniversay!  Weird huh?  It doesn’t seem that long ago…but I suppose that considering all that has occured since then…it’s not surprising that time has gone by very quickly.

I just want to say that I LVE YOU honey and I’m so glad that I married you!

Anyway…my wonderful husband is at work, unfortunately we haven’t spent much time together this weekend…and won’t really get a chance to tomorrow either.  BUT…we will get to spend Monday together because he has the day off and I’m taking a comp day from work.  We will be spending the day getting my legal name changing done…you know, driver’s license, social security card, bank accounts etc.

At least after Monday…I can officially go by my married name!  Only took us over a month to do…but that was due to not receiving the certified copy of the marriage certificate until Thursday afternoon.  Hey…that courthouse is a BUSY place!

Well…I hope that you are having a wonderful weekend!!