Month: January 2004


  • Open floor…


    Okay…since someone asked, “ok, so if you don’t lie… can I ask you a few questions?”

    I’ve decided to give you all an open floor…so to speak.

    Yes, is the answer to that question, you may ask me whatever you want!  You may ask me any questions that you’d like, but I do ask one thing though…please keep the questions somewhat tasteful…my kids see my site from time to time…I don’t want to be giving out explanations to my 11 year old for anything written on here. Agreed?

    Now…if you have a nagging question that wouldn’t be appropriate to post here…you may email with it…I’ll answer you there instead of here.

    So…here’s your chance…ask away!!

    I probably won’t be answering anything until Monday…so that will give you the weekend to think of what you’d like to know more about me.

    Have a great weekend!!

  • The Bottom Line…


    I have this pet peeve…I can’t stand being lied to.  I suppose that I’m not a normal woman, I don’t care if the answer I am about to receive from someone is going to be insulting or non-flattering…or no good for my ego.  If I ask a question, I want an honest answer…even if that includes telling me that my butt looks too big for that outfit.


    Is that so much to ask?


    Apparently so…because there are many people in this world that feel they have to lie to one another about various things.  And then there are those who just flat out lie about everything.


    I’m also the type of person who doesn’t sugarcoat things.  If I have something to say…I say it.  Now of course, I’m not stating that I don’t say the appropriate response when it’s called for…no, no, no…I’m saying that I don’t feel that it’s necessary to beat around the bush.  Life is precious…and time is too short to bullshit everyone.  If you have something to say…then say it.  Plain and simple.


    I understand that certain situations call for delicate phrasing…and that’s fine, you can be sensitive towards someone’s feelings and not lie to that person at the same time…or sugarcoat things as well.  Sometimes it may take a bit of finessing…but it can be done…I do it all of the time.


    What I don’t understand though, is why in the world people feel the need to lie.  To me it just seems like a waste of time.  I mean, once you’ve told a lie…then you have to tell another to cover up the first lie…then another to cover that…and so on and so forth.  Why?


    Nah…time is too precious to waste that much of it and to be honest, I’m much too lazy to want to sit and think about whether or not I’ve told this person or that person one thing…and someone else another….or wonder if I’ll be caught and what will ocur if that happens.  Nope…that’s just way too much work and too much of a hassle for me.


    Plain and simple…yup…I like it better that way.

  • This…That…and WTF?


    Not much to tell right now.  I’m tentatively scheduled for surgery on Feb. 6th (next Friday) but it hasn’t been confirmed as of yet.  They will have to redo all of my bloodwork and such at the time of surgery. I hate having all that yuck done…*sigh* oh well.


    Ummm…what else, working as usual.  Boss is still out of town (YAY) but the unfortunate thing is that he will eventually return.


    I have to pick up Jason from the bus-stop tonight on my way home… (taps fingers on desk)


    (hey…I’m tryin’ to think of stuff to write about but my brain is about mush at this point…so stay with me)


    Oh…wait…here’s somethin’!! 


    I was getting in my car to go out to lunch with one of my co-workers when my cell phone rang.  It was the twins’ school telling me that I was late picking them up (it was 11:42 and they are supposed to be picked up no later than 11:30)!  Well, first of all…I don’t pick them up (very often anyway) my Mom does!  So, I’m now wondering where in the hell my Mother is that she wasn’t there picking them up from school.  So I inform this woman, who is scolding me on the phone and telling me that I now owe the school $3.50 each for the twins because they had to keep them late…that I will let my Mom know that she owes them a fee and will tell her to get over there to pick them up ASAP.


    So I call my house phone and my Mother answers…and I of course I’m asking “why aren’t you picking up the boys from school?“…to which she replies with, “I fell asleep“.


    So I tell her that it might be a good idea to call the school and let them know that she is on her way.  She then informs me that the she just got off the phone with the school…and I’m now wondering, then why in the hell were they calling me?


    Anyway…so I hang up with her and I have this completely puzzled look on my face…’cuz I can’t figure out why they didn’t call my house phone before calling my cell phone when my Mom has been the primary person that picks the twins up and drops them off at that school for the past 2 years!  Hmm…maybe that person needs her own sign?


    Okay…that’s it for me today!  That’s all of the drama that I can handle.


    Happy Hump Day!

  • Thought that I’d jump on the band wagon…


    My  A B C’s


     


    A – Age . . . 
    28


    B- Boyfriend/girlfriend . . .
    Husband – Jason



    C- Chores you hate . . .
    don’t really hate any…just don’t like doing them all



    D- Dad’s name . . .
    Mario


    E- Essential everyday item . . .
    cuddling with my hubby

    F- Favorite actor/actress . . .
    don’t really have just one



    G- Gold/silver . . .
    White Gold (I’m picky)



    H- Hometown . . .
    Hopkins, MI

    I- Instruments you play . . .
    this would be better stated as “Instruments you don’t play…”  


    but since it’s not…here’s the list


    guitar, bass guitar, drums, keyboard (piano), saxaphone (alto, tenor, bass, & soprano), clarinet (but not bass clarinet), trumpet or coronet, oboe…and a few other band instruments…haven’t ever quite gotten the hammered dulcimer down though


    J- Job . . .
    have one…for an electrical contractor, I’m a Safety/Apprenticeship Admin. II


    (basically means that I take care of all of the records for O.S.H.A./D.O.T./Safety/Training/Apprenticeship for the company)


    K- Kids . . .
    Got those too…4 of them


    Dora, Corin, Caleb & Jonah


    L- Living arrangement . . .
    House…my hubby, me & our kiddos…oh yeah, and my Mom

    M- Mom’s name . . .
    Joyce



    N- Number of siblings . . .
    only one…older brother, Mark


    O- Overnight hospital stays . . .
    pneumonia when I was born and on and off until I was 3


    concussion & broken nose when I was 9…and then again when I was 12…..broken foot & bleeding ulcer when I was 15….child birth when I was 17…and again when I was 21…and again when I had the twins when I was 22…


    P-Phobia . . .
    not really…but I don’t like spiders much


    Q- Quote you like . . .
    I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine


    ~Song of Solomen


    R- Ride . . .
    2003 Ford Focus SE


    S- Shows you like . . .
    American Idol (I’m a sucker for that one)


    WWE Wrestling (both RAW & Smackdown)


    Boston Public


    HOCKEY (especially Avs & Red Wings)


    ER


    T- Time you wake up . . .
    5:30 am


    U- Unique habit . . .
    organizational freak…

    V- Vegetable you refuse to eat . . .
    beets…yuck



    W- Worst habit . . .
    biting my nails when nervous/stressed


    X- Xrays you had . . .
    oh boy…here we go


    nose, hand, foot, (does CT Scans count? ) leg, arm


    Y-Yummy foods you make . . .
    if you ask my family they will tell you everything I make is yummy…but they’re biased


    mostly anything Italian…I learned most of it from my Daddy


    Z- Zodiac sign . . .
    Cancer

  • Have I mentioned…


    …how nice it is to have so many wonderful readers?  It is…thank you all for your support and kind words…it means so much.


    …that I have a wonderful husband?  I did?  More than once?  hmm…well, I guess that I’m mentioning it again then.   We went out shopping this weekend…because Target had a clearance sale…and Jason just can’t stay away from those .  Anyway, so he sees the karaoke machines right…and says for me to look…so I do and they are very cool …so he looks at the price and picks one up and sets it in the cart.  Yup…he bought me a karaoke machine that also has the on screen display capability and works also as a CD/Cassette player and AM/FM radio…it’s very nice indeed.   I’ve already played with it of course He also bought me some new CD’s to go with it…and a new plant.  I’m not very good at growing things…but, I’m trying…slowly. baby steps…


    …that once in a while I’d like to just runaway?  I know that everyone gets to that point and I’m no exception.  Lately…that would be how I feel.  Although, I’ve never been one to actually do so…not for very long anyway.   It would be nice to be able to take a weekend and runaway with my hubby…we always have so much fun when we have our little getaways.


    …a friend of mine called me and wants to go “ghost hunting” this next weekend.  I know, it’s not exactly a normal sounding event eh?    That’s okay though…’cuz we aren’t normal.   I’ve always been interested in the supernatural and spiritual happenings that go on around us.  I’ve always had a sort of “six sense” to it all…being able to hear and see happenings when others cannot.  So, she thought that I would enjoy going out to a few places that are known for their hauntings.  Hopefully I will be feeling up to the trip.


    …on Wednesday I go in for my sterilization surgery.  I have mixed feelings about this, but I know it’s necessary.  I have to be checked into the hospital at 5:30 in the morning …ugh …and then after I go into surgery my hubby will have to leave me to go to school, so my Mom will have to come pick me up and take me home after I’m released.


    Peter Jackson received a Golden Globe for “Best Director” last night…that was cool…and, LOTR: ROTK received one for “Best Picture”…YAY!!! Now, if only the Academy Awards follows their lead 


    hmm….let me think…


    …my Avs are doing well and Peter Forsberg is back (YAY)


    Okay…that’s it for me…back to work.   I have a lot to do and my boss is out of the office  WOOOHOO


    Update


    I just got off the phone with my doctor’s office…my surgery has been cancelled for Wednesday.  My doctor’s husband was seriously injured in a skiing accident…so she is in Utah with him.   Please pray for her and her husband…that must be horrible for them both.


    As for me…I’m now waiting to hear back from the office to reschedule my surgery. So I’ll let you know when I know.

  • Overwhelmed…


    Lately I’ve felt as if I’ve had this weight upon me that just won’t let up.  I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions and my muscles have been beyond tight…to the point of spasm.   I know that I’ve been under a tremendous amount of stress this past month, but I think that it’s finally caught up with me…mentally, emotionally and physically.  I’m just at a breaking point.


    I know that many things have been frustrating me as of late…mostly, my situation as work and home.


    Work:


    I’m tired of busting my ass to take care of everything only to have my boss walk in after being gone from the office for over 3 months…and attempt to take all of the credit, but then lie to me about it all.  Yeah, it’s like working with a politician!  He blows smoke up everyone’s ass and tells them exactly what he thinks that they want to hear…but doesn’t follow through on a damn thing.  That drives me beyond crazy…it’s making me go mad!!  He should’ve been a politician…not a safety manager…or management at all for that matter. 


    I’m underpaid for what I do…at least 10k a year underpaid. *sigh*  That’s not only frustrating…it’s preventing me from providing for my kids the way that I should be able to…which just makes me angry.  But, I also know that I’m lucky to even have a job…and with four little ones to support, I can’t afford to be very picky…but it doesn’t mean that it doesn’t suck not having the means to make things easier for us financially.


    Home:


    My Mom…simple and plain.  She is the core of my frustration.  I love her…with all of my heart, I love her.  But she’s making my life a living hell!  She is extremely nosy when it comes to anything in my life…my children’s lives…my husband…everything!  She’s a hypocrit…when it comes to taking responsibility for one’s actions.  She’ll be the first to blame someone for anything that goes wrong…and the last to admit when she’s the one in the wrong.


    The house is a pit!!  I do the best that I can to work full time and take care of the kids…cook dinner, clean up and do laundry, etc….but during the day, she watches the kids and pretty much lets them do whatever they want …including completely trashing the house.  I’ve talked with the kids and have explained to them that this is not what to do…but when I’m not there…they have noone enforcing this at all…unless Jason’s home.


    I dispise clutter…things out of their place…clothes thrown everywhere…papers scatters everywhere…toys broken…dirty dishes left everywhere…food on the floor all over the house…not being able to walk becuase there is so much shit on the floor and not one damn person picks up their own belongings!  It just makes me want to scream!!!!!!


    So I’ve been trying to clean up one room at a time, but it’s very difficult to do when the room that you’ve just cleaned is destroyed in less than one day after you’ve cleaned it.  My Mom decided yesterday that she was going to try to help out and fold clothes…okay, nice gesture…except that her idea of folding clothes is scattering the items all over the couches and then leaving them there…nothing gets put away!! She’ll leave them there for weeks if I let her…so, I come home and have to pick it all up or force the kids to do it.


    She lets the kids sit in front of that damn television for the majority of the day!  I hate that…she never lets them go outside and play…run off some of that energy.  Instead she lets the television be their video babysitter.  That’s just not right…especially when I don’t feel that they should watch more than an hour worth of television a day to begin with.  I’ve discussed this with her countless number of times…and she’ll agree to not do it, but as soon as I’m not there…their sitting in front of it again, glued to cartoons.


    I want my own house!!!  I want control back over my life and over my family.  This woman goes so far as telling other people that she raises my kids…as if I’m not living with them or supporting them or not completely involved with every aspect of their lives!! 


    She just goes too damn far!


    I just feel numb…I’ve gotten to a point that goes past frustration…anger…resentment…to just numb.  I know that I’m the only one that can do something about the situation…believe me, I’m quite well aware of that.  But, with my financial situation the way it is right now…and Jason finishing his education…it’s just not time yet for us to move.  So I guess that I’ll just have to keep doing what I’ve been doing…and more.  I’ll keep going through the house, one room at a time and just start hauling shit out of there by the bag full!


    I’ve warned everyone in the house, including my hubby, that if anyone leaves their stuff where it doesn’t belong…it is then subject to disposal.  It seems to be working a bit…especially now that I’ve thrown a few things away that actually meant something to them.  I don’t like having to go to extremes…but extreme situations sometimes call for extreme measures…so there you go, that’s where I am right now…extremely stressed out.


    So…how are you doing?

  • Back to school…


    Not me of course…my husband!!  He started classes today at Metropolitan State College in Denver at the Auraria Campus.


    I would just like to say to him:


     


    I am SO Proud of YOU!!


    It’s taken a while for things to get to a point so that he could do this…but the time has come and everything is back in place and he is back where he belongs…finishing his education.


    I just got an email from my hubby, and he said that he’s just about to go into his first class.   I’m so excited for him!


    Today is the beginning of a new journey for us…because once he has finished his education and finds a position and gets some experience under his belt, we can look at moving to a better location…and THAT is what I’ve been waiting to do for a long time.


    I figure though, that in the meantime…I will just focus on figuring out exactly what type of home we want and what will be the best way for us to go about getting it.  Do we want a custom built home? Would that be financially achievable or not?  How much room do we NEED


    Tons of questions have run through my head regarding all of this and I’ve luckily made a friend who is a real estate agent in Indiana…and she has been extremely helpful and patient.  


    Of course, Jason has also mentioned living in Tennessee or Kentucky…so now I have to check out the market there as well.   And men say that women can’t make up their minds…yeah right, they haven’t met my husband!


    I love you honey…and I hope that your first day back at school is wonderful!!


  • Ahh yes, that would accurately describe my desk at the moment.


    At the beginning of every year I have to do the annual DOT review of driving records for each of our drivers for the company.  This means a great deal of paperwork!  Unfortunately…I also have a meeting tomorrow with the Dept. of Labor to discuss my company’s apprenticeship programs (which I run).  A meeting that shouldn’t have had to take place at all…but no one would listen to me a week ago and just learned on their own that it could’ve been completely avoided. 


    My company is an electrical contractor that specializes in commercial contract work…mostly for energy cooperatives and such doing fiber optic cabling, underground distribution, substations…and transmission lines.  We’ve not done, in the past, a great deal of overhead distribution (which means working on energized lines) mainly because it is extremely dangerous work.  As if working on any lines isn’t dangerous…but distribution involves hotstick work…which means dealing with live lines…and anywhere from 59,000 to 690,000 volts.  See…dangerous work indeed!


    There’s a great deal of money to be made in overhead distribution because not many companies are willing to do it.  Not many people will get certified to do it…let alone actually put themselves out there on the line working that close with live electricity. 


    However, since my company has decided to venture out into this part of the industry…they want an apprenticeship program that will meet the needs of training and qualifying distribution lineman.  Understandable…except that we already have one in place that covers that.


    Yup…one of the programs that we have had in place for 6 years now (since I came here and implemented it) is the Lineman Program which is designed for transmission AND distribution linemen.   It includes training for both.  I did that so that we wouldn’t ever have to have a separate program for either and it’s already approved by the Dept. of Labor back in 1998.


    So…since they didn’t listen to me…and it’s just NOW dawned upon them that we already have a sufficient program in place…we have to do this meeting and and waste people’s precious time.   Some people are just a little slow.


    Meanwhile…I’ve been trying to keep up with running the MVR’s (Motor Vehicle Records) for all of the drivers and set up the new employees and attempt to get my filing done, while putting together all of the paperwork that will be needed in tomorrow’s senseless meeting.  Oh yeah…while my boss sits on his ass and does absolutely nothing but annoy ME!




  • “I Have A Dream”
    by Martin Luther King, Jr.




    Delivered on the steps at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C. on August 28, 1963. Source: Martin Luther King, Jr: The Peaceful Warrior, Pocket Books, NY 1968

    Five score years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in the flames of withering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of captivity. But one hundred years later, we must face the tragic fact that the Negro is still not free.

    One hundred years later, the life of the Negro is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years later, the Negro is still languishing in the corners of American society and finds himself an exile in his own land.

    So we have come here today to dramatize an appalling condition. In a sense we have come to our nation’s capital to cash a check. When the architects of our republic wrote the magnificent words of the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, they were signing a promissory note to which every American was to fall heir.

    This note was a promise that all men would be guaranteed the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. It is obvious today that America has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as her citizens of color are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, America has given the Negro people a bad check which has come back marked “insufficient funds.” But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation.

    So we have come to cash this check — a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and the security of justice. We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to open the doors of opportunity to all of God’s children. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

    It would be fatal for the nation to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of the Negro. This sweltering summer of the Negro’s legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a beginning. Those who hope that the Negro needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual. There will be neither rest nor tranquility in America until the Negro is granted his citizenship rights.

    The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges. But there is something that I must say to my people who stand on the warm threshold which leads into the palace of justice. In the process of gaining our rightful place we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred.

    We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline. we must not allow our creative protest to degenerate into physical violence. Again and again we must rise to the majestic heights of meeting physical force with soul force.

    The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed the Negro community must not lead us to distrust of all white people, for many of our white brothers, as evidenced by their presence here today, have come to realize that their destiny is tied up with our destiny and their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

    We cannot walk alone. And as we walk, we must make the pledge that we shall march ahead. We cannot turn back. There are those who are asking the devotees of civil rights, “When will you be satisfied?” we can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the motels of the highways and the hotels of the cities. We cannot be satisfied as long as the Negro’s basic mobility is from a smaller ghetto to a larger one. We can never be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote and a Negro in New York believes he has nothing for which to vote. No, no, we are not satisfied, and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

    I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of great trials and tribulations. Some of you have come fresh from narrow cells. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by the storms of persecution and staggered by the winds of police brutality. You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

    Go back to Mississippi, go back to Alabama, go back to Georgia, go back to Louisiana, go back to the slums and ghettos of our northern cities, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed. Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

    I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.” I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood. I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice. I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.

    I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor’s lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers. I have a dream today. I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together. This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

    This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.” And if America is to be a great nation, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York. Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania! Let freedom ring from the snowcapped Rockies of Colorado! Let freedom ring from the curvaceous peaks of California! But not only that; let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia! Let freedom ring from Lookout Mountain of Tennessee! Let freedom ring from every hill and every molehill of Mississippi. From every mountainside, let freedom ring.

    When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God’s children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual, “Free at last! free at last! thank God Almighty, we are free at last!”


    Please…take a moment…and remember.



    okay…so not only is it MLK Day…tonight…American Idol returns for it’s 3rd season.  I know…I know…reality tv and all, but considering this one is all about the singing abilities etc…I like it.  I love to sing and have been told way too many times that I should be on this show…so I enjoy watching it and hearing what Simon Cowell will come up with next!


    Okay…back to work for me.  Have a great Monday!

  • Runs off to go be a kid for the weekend!