So tomorrow I return to work after being gone for 21/2 weeks. It’s going to be very long day I’m afraid.  My main focus tomorrow is to get through the day without hurting myself or overdoing things.  Wish me luck!

I’m feeling much better and the doctor says that I’m a “superstar”. lol…yeah, that’s me alright.  I must admit that I’m quite proud of myself on the whole behaving after surgery thing.  However as frustrating it has been, I’ve been a good girl.  Don’t believe me?  Well…then go ask Jason.

Even though I’ve been behaving myself post-surgery, it doesn’t mean that it’s any less frustrating for me.  One would think that depending upon others is what frustrates me the most, but it’s not.  I’m frustrated with my body, for one, and the fact that I’m not prepared for school to start for my kids in just a little over a week.  I’m normally totally prepared for the beginning of the new school year, but this year it is not the case at all.  Mostly due to my recent major surgery, but also because my three youngest are attending school in a new district this year and have conflicting start times.  When I say conflicting, I mean that in the total sense of the word.  Not only do these start times conflict with my work schedule, but it puts Corin, my almost 12 year old, starting school before the twins (Caleb & Jonah) who are only 10.  Dora, my eldest at almost 17, isn’t even able to help me out with this as her schedule conflicts as well.  We’re looking into adjusting her schedule, but that may not be the solution to the problem.  I may have to ask my ex’s mom to help me out and get my boys on the bus each morning or drop them off at school.  She only lives 3 miles from us, but I’d hate to imposition her by disrupting her mornings.

I’m sure that we will figure something out, even if it means changing my work schedule, but I really wan to make that my last resort.  Being the in charge of operations, I work some early hours and if I’m restricted to working later, that will make my job a tad bit difficult to say the least.

The other major thing that is frustrating me regarding the start of school is that I’m not able to go out and buy the kid’s school supplies as I’m not allowed to drive yet and my body is letting me stand for that long of a period yet either.  I was able to order some new items for them on-line yesterday.  Caleb has had his heart set on a new Wall-E backpack & lunch tote, so I went to the on-line Disney store and found both for $17, which is pretty good price wise.  I was also able to get new ones for Corin & Jonah as well, along with a couple new shirts for each of them and a new raincoat for Caleb.  He has major issues with rainy weather, the texture of the rain when it hits his skin tends to make him have a meltdown so I thought that if he had a new Wall-E raincoat that it might help on rainy days.  Anyway, I got all of those items for under $100, including shipping!  This made me feel a bit better, but not entirely.  I had Jason go get the boys some new jeans from  K-Mart this morning, on sale for $10 a pair…again, not bad.  I bought the boys new shoes a few weeks ago that I’d found on clearance at Wal-Mart for $13 each. 

Even though I consider myself to be a pretty frugal shopper, I’m well aware of how much is spent on preparing the kids for school each year.  Dora’s fees for her senior year will total out at $130, which is nothing compared to what it would be if she attended her home school instead of a alternative school.  Even still, Corin’s fees were around $60 and the boys will total out around $50 each which adds up.  Not to mention how much Jason will spend on his supplies for the new year.

I must say that more than anything though, I’m frustrated that my kids are not home with me.  I haven’t had them home in 2 weeks now due to them coming down with chicken pox just before I went in for surgery.  I’ve never been apart from them for this length of time and I’m not coping well with it.  I saw Jonah yesterday for the first time in 2 weeks and it was only for just a few minutes.  I’m sure that not having them home right now is allowing me to get much needed rest, but it doesn’t mean that I miss them any less.  Especially knowing how badly they wish to be home with me.  I supposed to get a little time with Corin & Jonah tomorrow, but not Caleb as he still has the chicken pox.  I’ve had the chicken pox, in fact I had it 4 times as a child.  However, since I have a weak immune system to begin with and have just had major surgery, this risk of me contracting shingles from exposure to someone with chicken pox, is much greater than most.

I just want things to be normal again and I’m running low on patience.  I’m sure these feelings have absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I’m now in menopause right? Yeah…I’m sure that’s not a factor at all.

Yes folks, I’m still here!

Surgery did not take as long as we’d anticipated (thank God).  In fact, it only took a quarter of the time that we’d thought it was going to. It was very good to hear my doctor tell me that she didn’t find anywhere near the amount of scar tissue we’d originally thought she’d encounter.  She did find fusion, but luckily it was minimal – my uterus was fused to my pelvis, my left ovary fused behind my uterus and both to my colon and bowels.  She was able to separate everything successfully and only with having to go in through an old incision site, so I wasn’t sliced open hipbone to hipbone as we’d originally feared. 

I also had minimal issues in recovery, high blood pressure right after I came to, but it went down quickly after getting my pain under control.  The O.R. nurse was really great and physically went and got Jason & Dora and brought them with me up to my room so that they were never away from me.   My room was really tiny, which wasn’t a big deal except that we had a lot of people in & out of that little room…so much that the nurses joked that they put me in the closet! lol 

I did have a couple small complications following surgery, I had some bleeding from the incision that was caused during the closure (they hit a vein) and wasn’t cooperating very well.  I had two nurses and a resident putting pressure directly on my incision to get the bleeding to slow down enough that we could put some pressure pads on it.  Of course, walking just irritated it again caused it to bleed more, so they added more pressure pads.  This quickly became a cycle as we wound up having like seven sets of pads on there before it finally stopped bleeding.  When the doctor came to examine it the next morning, she removed the pads and found that there was a HUGE blot clot, the size of a baseball, where the bleed had been.  I know, it’s gross, but I was just glad to see that my body was clotting because when the bleed had occurred, they were concerned about my blood count due to blood loss.  It was gushing pretty good for about an hour. So, even though it wasn’t a pleasant sight, I was relieved none-the-less.  The doctor removed a good portion of the clot, but left some as to not disturb the site further and cause another bleed.  The entire thing was removed before I was released the next day, but the whole thing was just not fun.

Anyway, due to the bleed, I wasn’t able to walk as much as I’d liked to while at the hospital.  So, the doctor and I agreed that a two night stay was best.  I also was having some pain control issues.  My incision hasn’t hurt a bit, even with the bleed, but due to the fact that she had to scrape the back of my pelvis to remove all of the scar tissue, my pelvis has felt like it’s being crushed. Since I’ve been home, I’ve also had to deal with a lot of gas pain.  They had to fill my abdomen with air when they went in, so that has caused quite a bit of discomfort, but they also had to work on my bowels, so my muscles are fully functional yet…it’s made things a bit difficult. 

Other than that though, I’m feeling better every day.   I’ve been walking better and am able move a little better, but I get tired very quickly (which is to be expected).  The worst thing though, is that my little kids (Corin, Jonah & Caleb) are all at their dad’s because they’ve come down with chicken pox!!   So they can’t be home with me for fear of me contracting shingles.  I have a weakened immune system due to the bypass surgery & vitamin deficiency, but throw in a major surgery on top of that, and well…we don’t want to risk it.  However, I’ve never been away from my kids while they’ve been sick before…although I know I’m not currently capable of caring for them & they’re better off at their dad’s, it’s still difficult to be away from them, especially now. I just don’t like this.

Okay, well I’m done whining now. The good thing is that I’m home, I’m doing well as can be expected and I will be better once I’ve healed.