April 15, 2003
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I’m FRUSTRATED!!
Okay…here’s the deal. Jason and I talked about what we’d like to do for the wedding over the weekend. We tossed around many different ideas. Of course, no matter what we decide…we have to keep one thing in mind, this wedding must be INEXPENSIVE!
We just can’t afford to have a wedding that’s going to cost over $2000 right now…not with him going back to school soon and the bills and car payments that we are putting money out for right now. Not to mention raising 4 children…that alone drains the pocket book like a sink without plumbing….FAST!!
So…we decided that we’d like to have a ceremony that is simple…yet elegant…but fun…and we’ll have to combine our wedding with our honeymoon because we won’t have much time or money to do all of this. We talked about maybe going on a cruise…but, that’s a hassle with the marriage license situation and it’s a bit out of budget range. I looked up ceremony sites here in Colorado (there are TONS)…but, even for a simple wedding…it’s expensive and it wouldn’t include any honeymoon time.
We want to have a simple intimate wedding now…and then once we get things to where they need to be (and we are living back in Indiana where we belong) then we will have a larger ceremony for a renewal of vows with friends and family. That’s the plan anyway.
My oldest daughter, Dora, stated that she’d like to attend…but, she understands what we are attempting to do and that if we travel out of state for the ceremony, that it would be more expensive to take her with…let alone the rest of the kids and it would defeat the purpose of having a honeymoon if they were all there.
We looked at Las Vegas as an option…it’s a good option. Jason has never been there…AND they have the most inexpensive (and downright cheap) ceremony packages available in the U.S.!! It would also solve the problem of having a honeymoon included…BUT, there’s one big problem…my MOM!!!
She doesn’t understand that Jason and I would like to have a ceremony with just us…(and maybe Wil if he can make it). See…Jason would like to have his best friend there to stand up with him…and that’s fine, and in fact…I totally understand that and I think that’s great. But, to have my Mom there (who has already witnessed me getting married) is just not what we want.
I don’t want to sound crude or disrespectful, it’s just that she lives with us…and we see her EVERYDAY…and we’d like for this (being that it’s going to be small and intimate) to be just us…no kids, no Mom. Does that make sense?
Anyway…she doesn’t get it…and she is looking at her going out there as a vacation of sorts…but she wants to bring my daughters with her. Yes, both of them!! How can that be a vacation?
She’s always stating that she needs to get AWAY from the kids for a few days (understandably so)…but taking them out there isn’t going to give her time away…they will drive her nuts! 
AND it would cost well over $600 more for them all to fly out and stay for 3 days…and that’s not including meals, which would put us well over budget. Besides, Vegas isn’t exactly a town that I’d like my kids to go to for a vacation. I mean, it isn’t called “Sin City” for nothing ya know. 
So…now I’m frustrated.
Jason says that if she’s dead set on going with us then we will have to come up with a different plan. I understand that…and a part of me feels the same way…but I like the idea of going to Vegas…it’d be fun and exciting. Not if my kids are there though…I’d spend my whole time there worrying about them and if they’re okay OR we’d wind up having them with us the entire time…which is the one thing that we don’t want.
So…what do I do now?
HELP ME!!! Please??
~Maria
Comments (11)
Hey I don’t exactly know what advice to give you except that it’s your wedding, and you guys should do what is most important to you and no one else. I think that’s great that you are coming back to Indiana. Where at in IN?? I’m up in northern IN, central IN for school.
My advice. Go to Vegas. Just the two of you. My brother & his wife wanted just parents (they didn’t live near either set, so Vegas was a place they would want to go).
Viva Las Vegas has really FUN packages, and there is no better place to honeymoon. Lovely restaurants, shows, etc.
Gambling & partying are only a part of Vegas. Seeing it through the eyes of a child is great fun, but NOT on your wedding/honeymoon.
I think the best thing you can do is just talk to your Mum, daughter to mother, and try and explain to her how you feel. Honesty is the best policy and all that. I can understand her feeling left out but try pointing out that this time is different to last time and see if that helps. I’m sure that in time she’ll come around, if you focus on the wedding as being part of the honeymoon ~ or incidental to it, almost. “We’re going to Vegas for our honeymoon, Mum, and we thought we might as well just get the marriage bit done while we were there. Would you take me on your honeymoon?” etc..
*HUGS* I’m sure you’ll come up with something, and no matter what it is it’ll be perfect ’cause you’ve got your Mr Right!!!
How about eloping! Moms and kids traditionally cannot come along with those who are eloping!
whatever ya do… it’ll be great!
I know you will figure out what is best to do. Have a great week.
Simple…go to a Justice of the Peace, with Mom and kids, get married for 25 bucks, go to Vegas without them, and have the real deal, without them…
holy moly! congratulations!!!!!!
I’ve never understood folks who spend lots of money on a wedding. never. it’s insanity! spend whatever money you’ve got on an excellent honeymoon, and just go through a nice quiet ceremony.
wow! congratulations to you and jasaon!
I don’t know what to tell you about your daughter – that’s a tough one! As far as going the cheaper more intimate route, that is what my hubby and I did. We had a small ceremony with just family and a few close friends in my mom’s backyard. I have pictures on this blog I did on our anniversary. I thought it all turned out beautifully. I hope you like it too!
Well honey try a justice of the peace at the court house. Should keep it cheap and then mom can go. Then after you are married say we are doing our honeymoon, when we come back we will tell you all where we went. Then go to Vegas or where ever. Maybe that would help? Anywho thanks for the visit! Have a great day and a wonderful tomorrow! ! ! ! Much love and many hugs ! ! ! ! !
Vegas would be fun, but I understand the problems involved. Gatlinburg, Tennessee? Then maybe Jason’s parents could come, but then that might be getting complcated again instead of relatively simple and inexpensive. Niagara Falls? Canadian side of course.
But Vegas could be symbolic of new starts since it would be a new place for Jason and different from past living? Just some thoughts.
Weddings are hard , I can understand your daughter wanting to be there and see why you just want you and Jason . Good luck in sorting it all out